“The Pillars of Power Exchange- Part I”
What is the difference between a need, a want and a desire?
Dictionary Definition:
Wants - have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for.
- lack or be short of something desirable or essential
Needs - require (something) because it is essential or very important.
- circumstances in which something is necessary or that require some course of action; necessity.
Desire - a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
- strongly wish for or want (something).
Needs are something basic, something absolutely necessary. A want, on the other hand, is a feeling for something you lack. A desire is the craving to apprehend your want.
How does one figure out their needs, wants and desires?
How do you go about this after being together forever?
Do you compromise if your needs aren't the same as your partner(s)'s?
What happens when none, few, some are met?
What if my need is your want?
Who's needs come first in a Power Exchange relationship?
Example of an inventory:
What I need/want in a Master: Harsh and stern, but rewarding and loving. Pushes my limits and knows when to stop a scene. Physically fit and able to subdue me. Allows me to cook and clean for them
What I need/want in a slave: Obedient and giving. Asks for pleasure and orgasms. Focuses on giving me absolute pleasure BUT trusting me to not abuse it.
*Take an inventory of each for yourself first.
*Once you take an inventory, the next step is sharing them with your partner(s) of choice. Compare.
*Determining Needs vs. Wants
*Realizing Your Own Realistic Needs
*Balancing Your Needs With Your Wants
*Having Realistic expectations for the Relationship
*Take time to reflect upon your relationship to ensure you are not creating needs out of wants
*Re-evaluate yourself and re-evaluate the relationship together
*Be certain you are giving your time and attention to those things that are truly important to ensuring your relationship, both physical and emotional, and not unnecessarily inflating the importance of something that may bring you temporary joy but not long-lasting satisfaction or happiness.
*Invest a small amount of time (such as every 3 or 6 months) to reflect upon your relationship and ensure it is heading down the road that leads to your most important goals for your relationship.
“Every pot has its cover.” Therefore, whether Master/Dominant or slave/submissive there is no reason to be involved in relationships that do not satisfy you. Find your perfect match.
One thought process:
There is definitely a mutual exchange that happens within M/s. Everyone should be getting their needs met. However, a basic principle of a M/s Power Exchange is the strong desire the slave has to please and be led by their Master. Yes, slave/submissives get to let their Master/Dominant partner know what they do and do not want. The Master/Dominant partner should know the hard and soft limits of their slave/submissive AND vice versa.
Compromise
I don’t compromise with my slave, I compromise with reality. ~ Quote – Raven Kaldera, speaking about being flexible as a Master.
“You cannot make anyone do what he or she does not want to do. You can only teach them a better way and encourage them to try it.” Dr. Glasser (author - Control Theory Management)
